Indulge me a moment as I rattle off some things I’m noticing about myself as I move into 2011:
- I’m going to the gym regularly, learning to do weights and cardio – a big change from walking and doing yoga (my mainstays for years).
- I’m eating a gluten-, sugar-, and cow’s dairy-free diet, with ease – a surprising change from the persistent resistance and victimhood that has surrounded this issue for years.
- I went to the dentist for my annual cleaning (and now I’m booking an appointment for a crown- ugh!).
- I’m tending to the details of being newly married – insurance, finances, etc.
- And most surprisingly, I’m facing suppressed anger and resentment towards the man I married in December. Don’t you just love how deepening a commitment to someone triggers the next round of emotional $*(^%*! I digress…
My point is; my attention and actions are going towards my own personal health and wellness. Now granted, I intended this as 2010 came to a close. I said I wanted these things for myself and lo and behold, here they are. You’d think I’d be satisfied, yeah?
But alas, no! My mind is focused on how I am neglecting my coaching practice! My list of “shoulds”:
- Meet with a marketing consultant or coach to create a marketing strategy and an online presence!
- Revise my website and merge it with my blog… and speaking of blogs, I should get writing!
- What happened to the Winter Solstice newsletter I was going to write? Maybe it should be a Welcome to the New Year newsletter? Hop to it!
- Create a couple of workshops and get them out there for spring!
- Follow-up with those folks I talked to last fall!
Can you feel the urgency? The comparison to what “other coaches” are doing? The fear of not having enough – money, clients, fancy widgets on my website? Some days it’s been simply overwhelming. So overwhelming that I was frozen and could do nothing to support my personal well-being or my coaching practice.
That’s what fear and self-judgment can do: shut us down.
So, I called a friend (or two or three)! And do you know what? They all suggested the same thing – in a variety of ways, of course.
- What if instead of believing these thoughts, I simply acknowledge their presence?
- What if I keep feeling my feelings and allow action to emerge from that place of deep knowing?
- What if I allow things to be started and completed in their own time, rather than forcing a timeline?
- And finally, what if I make room for the possibility that attending to my body and home life will actually support my coaching practice?
So, I took a deep breath, took their questions to heart,and gave myself permission to do whatever I was guided to do by my deepest knowing. And guess what? I started blogging again! 😉
And then I remembered… Last week, in a session with a client who was working with a similar issue, I acknowledged her for attending to her personal well-being so she could lay the foundation for taking her business to the next level. Note to self: pay attention to the things that come out of my mouth when working with clients; they almost always apply to me too!
Some questions for you to consider…
- Where are you experiencing the internal tug-of-war between what you “know” and what you “should” do??
- How does being in a tug-or-war affect your experience of living?
- What moves you from being shut down to being alive, awake and aware?
- What feelings and knowings are you avoiding? Now that you know you are avoiding them, what are you going to do with that information?
- What actions are you celebrating today because they are aligned with your deepest knowing?