A Meltdown Begets a Mission

When I lived in Tucson, AZ, I had a whole life meltdown.  I discovered my live-in partner had been having affairs and was a sex addict. I didn’t take it well. I did enter therapy and a 12-step program for people in relationship with sex addicts and discovered my own issues – codependency and sexual anorexia.

The period of my life when I was healing from my own dysfunctional relationship patterns and family of origin issues were some of the most intense years of my life.  Yet, I am sooooo grateful for learning and transformation that occurred because I was willing to face myself.  My sponsor once said I worked the program to save my life.  And while I never thought of it that way when I was in the midst of it, in retrospect, I agree with her.

All that hard work, not only saved my life, it transformed it. The guidance and support I received from my 12-step sponsor (to remain unnamed) and my therapist, Jane, was invaluable. The clarity that emerged as I got rid of all the gunk that wasn’t me (patterns I had learned, other people’s emotions I had held onto, should’s, etc.) has guided my life since. Sometimes obviously, sometimes not.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning out some file cabinets and came across artwork and notes from that time. I also found a mission statement I wrote during my work with Jane.  As I read it, I started to weep.  Buried in a file cabinet for 12 years, this mission statement was quietly, mysteriously guiding my life.

Oh sure, it’s less refined than my current mission statement.  But knowing that this first attempt at expressing who was emerging from the wreckage and what she valued broke open my heart – and my tears.  Even a midst all that pain and suffering, I knew. I knew I would serve and affirm women. I knew my story and my gifts would be a blessing to others.

My Mission Statement
(circa 2002ish)

I feel called to do work that affirms women – their abilities, their stories, and their gifts.

I want to do work that affirms my abilities, my story, and my gifts.

I want to connect with women and help them in their journey and my own, for the highest good of all concerned.

I feel called to live a healthy, balanced life where eating well and organically, physical health, emotional health, spiritual beliefs, positive relationships, and love are at the center.

I feel called to travel and explore the world as a participant in and advocate for the lives and well-being of women and children.

My life today doesn’t look much like it did in 2002; it looks more like the mission statement. The elements of this life were present in 2002, they were just not as integrated or as fully expressed as they are today.

So, what is my mission today? It’s pretty much the same, just more concise…I am called to coach, teach and empower women (and a few men), to engage their intuition, put themselves at the center of their lives (recover from codependency), and trust themselves.  I am called to live a healthy, balanced life where eating well and organically, physical health, emotional health, spiritual beliefs, positive relationships, and love are at the center.

I’ve got a lot emerging these days in relation my mission.  I hope these adventures support the unfoldment of your mission.

And, of course, I’m curious.  

  • How have your life meltdowns clarified or reinforced your mission? 
  • What have you recently discovered about your past-self that broke your heart open?
  • What is your mission?  How do you live it?

The comment section is open!

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